His father was the Cocoa King; mine was the Citron Emperor's top advisor. I met him one sunny day on the banks of the White Chocolate River. From two different houses, alike in dignity; we could never be.
A Citrus Sentinel bowed his head as he entered my chambers, and gingerly placed a dark scroll in my hands.
“Blood Orange,” the letter started, and I marveled at holding an object touched by my lover’s very hand.
“If your heart is truly mine, meet me by the pier, when the moon is full.”
I stole away from my clementines-in-waiting, and found myself at the shores of an emerald sea, flanked by hearty mangroves. Their roots wrapped around each other like a snake eating its own tail. Love devours and nourishes us in the same way.
“You came.” He whispered, taking my orange-tinted hand in his.
“Chocolate- we shouldn’t. We can’t! We’ll be put to dea-”
He put a finger to my lips.
“Shhhh- let’s go away. You and I. Leave this all behind.”
I was to marry the Baron of Limes, in a politically convenient union for the Citron Emperor. It would secure my father’s place in the Citron Dynasty’s administration, and my children would be lords and ladies, favored in the Kingdom of Citrus and blessed with leisure, for all their live long days.
Would I let my father’s ambition devour my only chance at happiness? Would I stay locked within the palanquin of my status? Or allow the soles of my feet to touch the fecund soil of a new homeland?
That day, my little bonbons, was the day I ran away with your grandfather. We sailed for months in an empty ocean, faced starvation, pirates, and sickness. Through it all, we had each other.
It was a difficult journey, but we found this new land where we could be together, and not just a Christmas novelty treat. In this new world, chocolate and orange go together like peanut butter and jelly.
Remember, my sweet babies, that true love is always worth the struggle.
Chocolate Cake with Blood Orange
Real talk- I am not a baker. I’m 110% not to the point of completely making up my own baking recipes, but I did read and try out a couple of different chocolate cake recipes and tweaked them to put together this one. If you happen to have some sourdough discard lying around (or are in Boise and want some of mine), make this one by Home Grown Happiness. It’s perfect, and pull out your scale because it helps a lot if you’re baking challenged like myself.
There’s also no shame in making a cake from the box- what matters is that you have fun and have a tasty treat at the end to enjoy!
Ingredients
Dry ingredients
2 c. all-purpose flour
1.5 c. granulated sugar
3/4 c. cocoa powder, unsweetened
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp salt
Wet Ingredients
3 eggs
1/2 c. coconut oil or vegetable oil
1 c. buttermilk (or, 1 c. whole milk plus 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar, let sit for 10 minutes)
2 tsp vanilla
1 c. hot, strong coffee
Frosting and candied oranges
You have two choices here- you can do a buttercream, or reduce the candied orange liquid into a glaze.
For the frosting:
1/2 c. butter
1.5 c. powdered sugar
1 tbsp whole milk or heavy cream
Juice from 1 blood orange
1 tsp vanilla
pinch of salt
Optional- pink food coloring
Beat together the butter and sugar until creamed together and fluffy. Add the additional ingredients and refrigerate!
For the candied oranges/glaze:
1 c. orange juice
1 c. granulated sugar
Juice from 1 blood orange
1 blood orange, slicked in 1/4” slices
Pour ingredients in a saucepan on medium. Stir until thickened. Add sliced oranges to the mixture. Cook for 10-15 minutes, until the oranges are sticky but not disintegrating. Save the sugar mixture to pour over the cake if you’re going the glaze route.
Process
Sift together your dry ingredients. Yes- sift. Use a wire mesh strainer and just do it.
Get your coffee brewing.
Combine all your wet ingredients in a different bowl, except for the hot coffee. Mix well. Once your coffee is done, pour the hot coffee over the wet mixture while stirring quickly. If you don’t stir vigorously enough you’ll end up with scrambled eggs. Gross!
Now combine your wet and dry ingredients. Mix just until combined and then stop- you don’t want to over mix.
Butter your pans.
Pour into two 8-9” cake pans, or a casserole dish. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes. Depending on your oven and pan, this could vary. I’d recommend checking them at 15 minutes. You know they’re done when you insert a toothpick in the middle and it comes out mostly clean. it’s fine if there are some crumbs. If in doubt, err on the side of undercooking, because the cakes will continue to cook in the pan.
Once the cakes have cooled, carefully remove from the pan and let fully cool on a wire rack. I used a 3” cookie cutter to make 3 two-layer mini cakes, and used the rest for cake pops. You do you!
Swaps
My baking skills are still developing, so I’m leaning heavily on the experts here.
Make it vegan?
A lot of cane sugar is clarified with bone char. Use raw cane sugar or sugar made from beets. You could also sub agave, which is 1.5 times sweeter than sugar. Adjust to 3/4 c. agave for 1 c. sugar.
Make it gluten-free?
So you could use Bob’s Red Mill 1:1, but I’ve read that this can make the cake a little less tender and luscious than you’d like. This recipe for a DIY gluten-free flour blend is incredibly complicated but has good reviews. She also dives into the science of why it works and how to work with gluten-free, butter-based batters.
I don’t do caffeine!
Caffiene doesn’t “cook out” in baked goods the way alcohol does- use decaf. No coffee for religious reasons? Strongly brewed black tea might work here, or alternatively, hot cocoa, or even just milk. Brewed chicory is another option, one with less caffeine but keeps the roasty flavor.
Don’t like blood oranges?
Why in the hell are you reading this then?