Extra-Terrestrial, and Extra Tasty, too
An out of this world polenta recipe
The day the creeks, canals, and rivers in Boise ran blood red was the day the city government admitted there was a problem.
“Channel 7 News, live from the Boise River- a reddish substance is polluting our local waterways. City officials have confirmed that it’s definitively not blood. In fact, after intensive testing, we’ve found that the water is cleaner than it was before. Our top ecological scientists are reporting that you can now drink from the farm canals.”
How many backyard chickens and stray dogs would have to go missing before someone would act? How many unexplained lights in the sky would go ignored?
A man down on 17th and Idaho St. was taken into custody for shooting his rifle directly up at the sky. As they hauled him away, he sputtered, “It’s aliens! I’m telling you right now, aliens!” As it turns out, the crazy guy on the news was right.
When they arrived, we feared the worst; vivisection, kidnapping, murder, genocide. Our country’s best and brightest exolinguists parsed the alien language and with disbelief, reported back, “They come in… peace?”
Eye witness reports confirm that a beautiful garden hid in their ship’s cavernous hold, and in that garden, the healthiest chickens and the happiest dogs frolicked together.
“Please, we keep? So cute!” The aliens pleaded. We acquiesced.
The red rivers? “Did we not do well? Humans love red.” their leader questioned through a whirring translation device. “We’ve been informed the fluid inside their bodies is also red, Blork.” said an alien attache. “Oops!”
“We’re just about late for our next engagement, but we have other gifts too,” she added.
The President of the United States straightened his tie and leaned into the microphone, hushing the overexcited reporters.
“World peace, a solution to the climate disaster, and a plan to eliminate poverty and cure every disease. Also, a pretty good recipe for polenta.”
Goat Cheese Polenta with Roasted Veg
Makes enough for 2 humanoids.
Ingredients
For the roasted veg:
1 large beet
1 sweet potato
1 c. diced butternut squash
1.5 c. cooked white beans (1 can)
A bit of oil for roasting
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tbsp chili flakes
1 tbsp paprika
Salt and pepper to taste
For the polenta:
1/2 c. uncooked cornmeal
2 c. veggie stock
Pat of butter
2 oz. goat cheese (around 2 tbsps)
Salt and pepper to taste
Fresh thyme
Suggested garnishes:
Pesto
Melissa Clark’s Frizzled onions
Process
Roasted Vegetables:
Preheat the oven to 425.
Dice up your sweet potato and squash in evenly sized cubes.
Add your white beans (if using canned, drain, rinse, and pat dry). Add your spices and lemon juice. Toss to evenly coat. You can combine all of your veggies and beans and put on one parchment-lined baking sheet.
Wrap your beet in aluminum foil with a bit of olive oil. You can set the beet on the rack at the same time that you roast your other produce.
Roast for 20 minutes, or until your squash is fork tender. Leave the beet in the oven for another 20 minutes, so around 40 minutes total.
When the beet has cooled enough to touch the foil, unwrap and rub under running water with a paper towel or your hands to get the rough skin peeled off.
Dice to your preferred size/shape. I aim for something big enough that you still get a good beet-y taste, but small enough to fit on a fork with other vegetables.
Polenta:
Put 2 c. stock in a pot and bring to a boil. Add your cornmeal, and bring it down to a simmer. Whisk constantly while it cooks. Once it thickens into a soft porridge (around 4-5 minutes), pop a lid on, turn the heat low, and cook for another 30 minutes. Give the pot a good stir every 6-7 minutes or so.
Once the polenta is very thick, you can add your goat cheese, thyme, and a pat of butter. Stir to combine, turn off the heat, and put the lid back on and let sit for 5 minutes.
Serve with the roasted vegetables on top, some pesto and onions, and prepare to be transported to a super cozy planet.
Swaps
Make it vegan?
Take out the goat cheese and add a bit of nutritional yeast and apple cider vinegar to give the polenta some zing. Use vegan butter or a nice olive oil at the end.
Make it low FODMAP?
Portions will be important here. If you’re able to tolerate beans, stick to canned, drained, and rinsed butter beans, around 1/4 c.
For the roasted vegetables, I’d recommend yams, rutabagas, and carrots.
For the polenta, if you’re sensitive to dairy, see the above vegan swaps. Goat cheese and butter are low fodmap in small quantities, so be conservative and add a bit of apple cider vinegar if you’d like to add some tanginess.
For the pesto, I’d recommend making your own. Use chives to give it an oniony flavor. I haven’t made this recipe yet, but it comes very highly recommended. Omit the frizzled onions.
Make it Gluten-Free?
Already done!
Don’t have the right vegetables?
There’s this idea in the Instagram/ grocery delivery age that you need to have the exact ingredients a recipe calls for. This might be controversial but I think that’s stupid. Cooking is deeply personal; it’s based on creativity, finances, region, culture, mood, personal preference, the local ecosystem of grocery stores and produce suppliers in your area- I could go on.
Use what you have around, use what’s about to go bad, or use what’s already in season. This recipe would be great with any root vegetable, or even a member of the Brassica family. Don’t let some random stranger on the internet tell you what to do with your life. I’m just making it up as I go along <3